NO MORE fear of FLYING

I see it on the horizon and now I walk. My arms are outstretched and my eyes are wide open with happiness in my heart. Not on my terms but Gods.

How IT Feels to FLY

Brown Girl Running Deux

Heres the last post I’m bringing over.

You know what I set up this blog (signed up wit wordpress) a few days ago and Ive been waiting forninspiration for the PERFECT post. This morning (well 2 min ago) I decided that, thats crap. Im supposed to be getting ready for church but here I am. Ah well, I shall get there soon enough. Aaaaaanyway, hey folks Im Soleil Dieu (direct translation Sun God ; neither of which I am I just love them both and I couldnt figure out another alias in time). Im starting this blog because I NEED an official soapbox to stand on. All day long I see things and I have these epiphanies and twitter and fb do NOT give me enough of a platform. I also needed more venting space (if thats understandable). I wont just go off on political rants on this blog, be not afraid, but emotional ones as well (fuuuun I know). However I pride myself on being pretty witty and a tad fun to be around so you should enjoy my outlook on things. Feel free to comment, I only ask that you refrain from vulgar language. Thanks Much Folks.

Au Revoir till my next post (probably in a few hours since I can post from my phone) TOODLES

Brown Girl Running Une

I had another blog which I quickly abandoned once i found out there was another blog with the same name. This is one of my old posts. Its a bit raw and I won’t proofread it (stupid I know) because it’s a testament to where I was in my life.

So I just put a theme on my blog. I was going through pages of themes, saw it, and clicked activate. I LOVE it! It may not be the most visually stimulating but it arose something in me. Its thought provoking (here I am writing this post). I immediately thought of me new favorite author, Chimamanda  Ngozi when I saw it. Folks if you’ve never read anything shes written, stop wasting your life GET ON IT. Her writing is beautiful and besides James Baldwin and Toni Morrisson I never say this. I don’t mean beauty in a cookie cutter, chick flick kind of way, I mean its promising and wonderful. These authors, for me at least, invoke thought. They have introduced THE thought process of my 20s. With them by my side (and in my purse) I’ve become (well I’m becoming) this insightful human being. I see possibility in everything and everyone. I see and feel love and happiness everywhere. They’ve literally changed my outlook on my job. Maybe its just being transported into another world of words and melodies (a good pieces is music for me) that has changed me. Who knows and more importantly who cares. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not this happy go lucky girl running around in frilly frocks and white socks, actually I’m pretty cynical. However I am now a pretty cynical woman filled with possibilities and hope.

Possibilities… hhhmmm lets ponder this. Right now I’m pondering business moves and career “possibilities.” I started college 5 years ago as a pre-med student in love with all things scientific. My freshman year I found out that I loooooove public health. This is understandable seeing that I wanted to be a doctor so naturally anything health and human related would interest me. This love of public health turned into a passion and I took every public health class imaginable (which isn’t much because my school only offered public health as  major for grad students till my senior year). Now four years later, with a degree in human biology, I’m contemplating public service.  I pointed out to a friend (whom I shall now name, Colt for future reference) yesterday that I had an epiphany. She goes mhhmm what and I say: I think I should be doing something that has to do with public service. Colt goes: uuumm I don’t understand why you’re now figuring this out.   The problem is, I’m in a nursing program and I have no idea where to even begin to moving forward with this passion of mine.

I know your probably wondering how the hell did this girl go from medicine to public service. As you will soon see by being a avid reader of Soleil Dieu, I’m a passionate person. My entire life I’ve been continuously passionate about one thing: fairness. Whether it was playing nice on the play ground or health disparities in urban communities. Recently (well for the last two years) education and public policy has been my thing. While in college I even took classes and attended meetings to improve these things. My question to God is this: Why didn’t you put me on sooner my dude?

Now the hope part:  I hope I get a job! Actually I KNOW I’m going to get a job, because I have direction now. SO let me rephrase  that: I hope I get a fulfilling and well paying CAREER ( a sista has a lifestyle to maintain)

Now back to the original reason why I started this post. I started off by explaining how the new theme for my blog made me feel. Well do ya get it now?

Toodle Folks… live in the Sun God has created for You.

(PS I apologize for any grammatical/ sp errors I’m posting this without proofreading because I like the raw vibe I have right now)

No Brownie Points

One rainy day a few months ago I spent the afternoon watching Martin re-runs. Typical rainy day activity, with the customary snacks, a blanket, and a cutie. This cutie happens to be one I am NOT pursuing (well they all are) and ignore quite a bit actually. that being said listen to this.

There’s an episode of Martin where Tommy, Cole, and Martin end up being in a bball tournament or something of that nature. Long story short Martin and crew end up getting their butt whooped by the USA women Olympic bball team. Of course this made me very happy (cue Spice Girls Girl Power Movement). Cutie, in an attempt to look good, decides to tell ME (of all people) that he could beat them (WNBA players/professional athletes/OLYMPIANS) by himself.  I laughed. He couldn’t possibly be serious. Then he claims that  Martin only lost because it was women. I laughed again, then I lost my cool and all my sense with it.

Now I’m not one to throw my degree in anyone’s face but that day I made an exception. I am pretty sure that my four years of Biology and Anthropology and my 20+ years of COMMON SENSE render me an expert on this subject. MEN ARE NOT MORE ATHLETIC THAN WOMEN. The fact that you are a man that plays oh wait lemme rephrase that PLAYED basketball does not make you better than a professional. I mean what did he think, his penis gave him some magic power that we don’t have. Get the HELL OUTTA DODGE with that crap! He didn’t know my Girl Power screaming , Bell Hooks reading feminist behind would get that mad, well I did and he thought I was crazy. Cutie aka PR actually tried to make a scientific argument about this. The whole men are naturally stronger women are delicate crap. If women are so delicate how come we push chauvinistic, ungrateful kids with big heads like you out every minute of every day. Why don’t you try pushing a human being out of your abdomen, you roach. Now who’s the weak one.

I am officially tired of women getting the short end of the stick simply because we breathe. Why must I be made to feel bad because I’m a woman. If you know I’m weak what the hell do you want me for, you can get all this plus more from another man. Its time we get some respect and appreciation lets not forget honor for what we do in this world.We actually have the responsibility of keeping everything going. We sustain life, actually we bring forth life. Yes, yes I know you provide the second element in a two chemical reaction, but after that what?

Now don’t go thinking I’m some man hating, bra burning kinda gal. Its actually quite the opposite and I definitely love me a fine man. A tall, dark, handsome and muscular man at that (well lemme stop I give thick brothers love, oooweee the hugs). I’m just tired of being seen as a second class citizen. Honey I can do anything you can do and it has nothing to do with genetics.

I CAN DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I WANT TO. Now go get me a glass of juice I’m thirsty.

yo yo yo

rastaman vibration

Stole this from another blog… it made me smile

ten in the afternoon … heres the blog

The Train Never Came

I failed to prepare so I was prepared to fail.

I came up with a short term plan but I never figured out what I would do if that didn’t work out.

So here I am set back another month and pissed about it. I stewed for about 20 min before I got up and got to work. I’m officially over myself and my own bullshit and self sabotaging.

There’s a whole world to be had and an empire to build. I’m ready for blast off.

R to the O to the A R

Crooklyn, USA

Living Single

In case you haven’t noticed I’m a single twenty something living in NYC. Most of my friends are as well but there are a few exceptions, the lucky ones I call them. As friends we share with each other, this is what friends are supposed to do. Of course I don’t expect anyone to tell me everything but if they do I have an ear for them. Sometimes we need guidance (imperfect humans oohh the irony) so we seek each other out. However there’s one topic I won’t ever (for the time being till my status changes) give opinions on. I’ll gladly tell another friend I think so and so should do such and such and they’re a blah blah blah for doing this and that, but I refuse to comment to the actual person about it. If you couldn’t guess I’m talking about marriage issues. I will NOT be the one that messed up your marriage. If any mistake is to be made it will NOT be on my counsel.

Now forgive me if I’m wrong, but everybody should have the same view of other peoples marriage. If you’re unmarried (never been married, bitter, constantly cynical about love, etc) you have NO business advising anyone on their marriage. Actually you need to shut up and take notes.

This being said I don’t understand why people seek advice about marriage from unmarried folks. Yes, I know that everyone has different ways of viewing a situation and they may be able to show you something you can’t see. Yes, I know that some people give great, sound advice. And yes, I know sometimes you need someone to bounce ideas off of. My problem is why oh why would you treat my word as gospel when i clearly can’t relate. Think about it, I’m single and unattached (that’s debatable depending on who you ask). I clearly have yet to have a successful relationship what can I possibly tell you.

Now I haven’t had what I would call a successful relationship, but my relationships don’t generally suck. I’m partly cynical and definitely not bitter. I believe in marriage and i pray that God has it in the cards for me. Unfortunately I can’t say the same about everyone. I know people who think marriage is a farce, it’s only about money, it’s two people lying to God, etc. Then there’s folks whose relationships just suck and sucked. Their partner was mean and inconsiderate or they may have been abusive in some way. Now I pride myself on my ability to think clearly and give sound advice. That being said, it is clear that anyone with these issues, sound advice is not worth my brain space or ear time. I mean really if you consistently date assholes do you still consider yourself a credible source? I think not and you need to feel the same way too. For the safety and sanity of man kind don’t spread your idiocy, PLEASE!

Married folks stop Asking unmarried folks for help. He or she has yet to seal the deal they should be listening to you. I honestly believe that most relationship issues stem from taking bad advice, whether it be a regular bf/gf situation or marriage. Marriage is by no stretch of the imagination easy and I applaud you for even making the plunge. If you’re having issues find a couple that you would like to emulate and find out what they’re doing. If you don’t see any find a pastor, actually do this anyway.

Anyway that’s my rant of the moment. Toodles ROOOAR

Gordon Parks

Watching Love Jones

talk about it